For the fourth (yes fourth) time this year (since January), the sewage pumps underneath my building have failed, catastrophically. You see, under my building is a car park (the same car park in which my car was written off in an immense, newsworthy, flooding), which gets filled with raw sewage if it isn’t sucked away into London’s wonderful sewage system.The pump which removes said sewage has failed on each of these occasions because it has to deal with the problems caused by certain inconsiderate individuals flushing nappies down their toilets (why on earth you would think that is sensible I do not know). And each time giant tankers have arrived, replacing the pump until it can be repaired (even though it is cheaper to install a new one), sucking our waste into their bellies and keeping us smell free down below. This time, however, it would seem some insane person has decided that the noise these tankers make has an unacceptable effect on the quality of sleep some of the residents receive during this already distressing time, and decided that we would all be better off not using any water at night, and thus avoiding the need to pump at night, saving those poor residents whose ears hurt. The giant flaw in this plan is, of course, that we won’t all remember, or even want to not use water at night, after all the basic human needs of defecation take precedent over a good nights sleep. The irony of this all is that whilst in LA this summer, I my self complained about a sewage tanker outside my hotel room whilst trying to sleep at 5am!
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